The larger weapons you can take from the guards have some hilariously grotesque counterattack finishers. Poison a soldier standing with his fellows and he'll start swinging his weapon around, knocking down and killing his comrades. Shiv someone with the poisoned knife, then do the same to someone in the inevitable crowd that gathers. 
When she invites him in through her bedroom window, we are treated to this exchange:
Ezio, during the Nightcap mission early on in the game, makes a late-night calling to one of his many girlfriends, Cristina. The government doesn't want to say why, but it's definitely nothing wrong with the fish itself. When in Venezia, the heralds will say that it is forbidden to eat the fish from the canals. They also mention how people have started climbing buildings for sport (including Ezio), and say that though it isn't illegal, it's all fun and games until somebody breaks a leg. The occasional news from the heralds include a bunch of youngsters baring their posteriors. Each and every time Ezio uses a springboard in Oltrarno District. "And do not think I will be matching ass and heads!" Regarding Bartolomeo's ranting while imprisoned: He tells the guards he's going to be shoving heads up asses when he gets out. The "meeting" with Bianca is later recalled in Brotherhood, when Bartolomeo calls for his wife and Ezio asks, "Did you check behind the table?" To Ezio's surprise, this time around the wife is an actual live human woman. It should be noted that most of that speech was real - something she actually said during a siege, obscenities and all.Įzio: (carefully moving the point with his finger). Not that it matters if you understand Italian or not her tone gets the point across beautifully. The best part is that when she really hits her stride, the Animus just gives up and stops translating. 
Somebody was having fun writing Caterina Sforza's speech taunting her children's kidnappers, which gets more obscene, more gruesome and more hilarious as she builds up steam.It gets even funnier as the player continues to pester him.
After pestering Shaun Hastings for conversation, he eventually runs out of dialogue, and just starts greeting the player with "Hello, Desmond.One of the Assassin's Tombs lets you eavesdrop on a pair of guards, one of them given to incredibly paranoid ramblings, much to the other's annoyance.Leonardo then grabs a large butcher's knife and bringing it down very close to said finger, before revealing that Altaïr had found a way to avoid the finger removal and that he'd just been amusing himself. When Ezio gets his first assassin's blade, Leonardo brings up the fact that he'll have to remove his ring finger as a 'sacrifice'."I've always had a soft spot for women in distress.".Any cutscene with Ezio and the prostitutes is guaranteed to cause chuckles.
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